....at least what I can remember about it two years later.
Every so often, Barry comes home from work with stories of torn apart families and children in abusive or neglectful homes and families. It always breaks my heart and makes me want to hug and hold my children closer. One day, he came home with a sad story that just wouldn't leave my mind. It tore me up and I cried. I don't know why, yet it really hit me hard emotionally. I wished that I could just take those two little ones from Barry's call and hold them, cuddle them and give them all the love they deserved. I went to the Lord in prayer for them, but also to tell him that I would be his handmaid and have more children. Ever since Ryan's baby blessing, when Barry mentioned that he, Ryan, would have brothers and sisters, I have felt that we would have 5 children. I don't know why, but this is what I felt. After Delaney was born and Barry came home from his first deployment I felt done with children....yet, I knew there was another boy waiting to join the family. I was right. Once as I was about the walk out the door, and pondering on our family dynamics I heard a voice in my mind "What about me?" it said, "Don't forget about me!" I know, without a doubt that that was Liam, reminding me of my feelings of our family from long ago....He came, and along with him, another deployment. I have rotten pregnancies so after his birth I planned to have a tubal, so I wouldn't become pregnant again, yet for some reason, the doctor kept asking me "are you sure?" The long and short of it, I didn't have a tubal.
I felt my heart was touched to have another child...and as I was praying telling the Lord that I would be his handmaid and bring another beautiful spirit into this mortal life I felt him ask me "What about down syndrome?" Now that brought me to laughter..."what are you crazy? homeschooling, autism and down syndrome? No way!!" He then, very clearly told me what a beautiful blessing
she would be in our family, how
she would help Ryan in particular with his mission in life and how
she would help us all come back home to him." How could I say no? I couldn't, and didn't...and a few weeks later I found out I was pregnant! I wonder, if at that time in my very early pregnancy if I would have said no, if Brianne would have not had down's and if that was when the chromosomal problems occurred ..or if the Lord was just being polite and asking me, but her conception was a done deal...as I was indeed pregnant then, I just didn't know it.
So, there it was, I was pregnant, and I knew she was a girl and she would have down syndrome.
Yet, I wasn't entirely sure, I lacked faith.....so, when I was at a doctor's appointment and she persuaded me to have a test for chromosomal deficiencies ...after saying no a few times, I finally subcombed and had the test. She told me that, if the child has problems then we could better prepare for it. For example, if there was a heart problem and the child needed to be transferred to Roanoke for surgery, it would be best to know and we could just deliver in Roanoke.
However, I knew that all would be alright with her health....there again I didn't have faith. Deep down I wondered if I was right in my thoughts or if I was just making all this up. I had to go and see a special radiologist who did an ultrasound that would show is there were signs that led us to believe that our baby had down's. Its funny, but I remember coming out of his office after him telling us that he didn't see any indications of down syndrome (mainly the thickening in the neck and shorter bones in the legs), and I was so upset I started to cry. I felt cheated...I really wanted him to tell me "yes, I see these signs", I wanted to know that the spiritual feelings I felt were right. There again, I lacked faith. And, if I had had faith, we wouldn't have spent all this time and money for extra tests and examines. I guess there was something there that showed concern because we were then referred to Dr. Dennis, a high risk OB in Roanoke He did do a amniocentesis test....it came back positive and it showed that she was a girl.... now I knew. I'm sure when the genetics counselor had called to tell me the news that I completely dumbfounded her. I don't think anyone has been happy to hear such news before. I was just so happy that I had personal revelation, and although I lacked faith in myself for not trusting what I was told...I indeed did hear it correctly.
I shared this with very few people. I think that of those whom I told, they really didn't believe me--about my feelings (this was told to one friend who's daughter had recently given birth do a daughter with down's syndrome herself, she sorta brushed me off, so I wonder what she thought, most likely that I was being dramatic and worrisome. ) Anyway, I shared these thought with my parents and two other friends, Jen and Christine, that's it.
We had to see a pediatric cardiologist, to make sure Brianne's heart was okay, that it didn't have any large holes, which is a common problem of babies with down syndrome. There again, if would have listened to the Lord and had faith and not to the needless worries of the doctor, I would have saved us a lot of time and money...but I didn't. I developed diabetes with this pregnancy--that with Bri's chromosomal differences made the doctors concerned enough that I had to go in to the office two times each week for special prenatal monitoring. Once, I had to go to the hospital because the test showed that Brianne might be in distress.
My due date was 22nd of December, however, with everything going on I was schduled for an induction of the 14th. That was a Monday. Elizabeth was planning to come here from Charlottesville to watch the kids while I was at the hospital. The Friday before I had another routine exam and my blood pressure was up. My doctor, Phyllis Turk, is actually a nurse mid-wife, so she had to consult with one of the OB's...Phyllis knew of my stressful way and that I really wasn't dealing with pre-eclampsia, but that I just needed to settle down. Anyhow, she couldn't keep the doctor from admitting me that very night.. I was sent home to get my things and make arrangements for the kids. Melinda and Richard Fisher took the little ones while the older ones stayed with Christine and her mom. I was admitted late Friday night and the induction took place. Sidotec administered and we waited....and waited and waited some more. Then they put me on pitocin and we waited and waited and waited some more. I didn't have any reaction to the drugs until Sunday. Barry had gone home to be with the kids Saturday night...he came back to the hospital Sunday....luckily he was able to get there, as an ice storm hit the area and made traveling quite difficult. I think he said it took him twice as long to get there than it normally does.
(now I'm finishing this 3 years later...but here goes the ending of this lovely story...)
Come Sunday afternoon, FINALLY, things started to kick in and I was having some intense contractions, but nothing to bad. I called Melanie, she offered to help with breathing and such. I told her not to worry and take her time, things were still going slowly, however, she knew better--and I'm glad she did--things really kicked in and contractions were becoming much more intense and they were right on top of each other. I asked for an epidural because I'm a wimp and pitocin contractions really do hurt! I'm told they are much stronger than naturally induced ones--I wouldn't know this though.
Brianne was having a bit of trouble so I had to wear some oxygen and I felt so weak, that I couldn't possibly do this labor, but we did make it, and Brianne came, screaming red and blue (she needed oxygen) at 8:04pm. But she was here!! and we're so thrilled to have her in our arms. And she was healthy. As per inspiration from the Lord, our blessing and treasure was healthy.
We had to stay for two night, and still the pediatrician didn't want to let her go, but we did go. Those waiting at home were quite excited to touch and hold their newborn sister. Due to the flu season, the hospital wouldn't allow them to enter the rooms and see her. They did come on Monday and see her through the window. Grandma and Grandpa Stumm came to visit, along with Aunt Elizabeth (she was planning to come and stay with the others while I was in the hospital) Granny and Pawpaw came too.
A few Sundays after your birth, Barry gave a most beautiful baby blessing. Again, I don't remember all of it, but Bree was blessed with health and she was told that one of her missions in life is to bring joy and happiness to others. As of this point in her life (I'm finishing this account/writing when she's three years old) she certainly has. As Betty Montgomery held her after the blessing, she felt great peace from the death of her husband just three weeks earlier. Many times, while out on family trips, we will find Brianne talking with others who have disablitites. Once in McDonalds she walked up to a table full of disabled adults and chatted up a storm....before that she was giving us quite an unhappy fit! While at a history museum she saw someone in a wheelchair--up she went and proceeded to have a delightful conversation with her too. The gal let her play with her wheelchair's horn and that delighted Brianne. One the reverse side, one day, while she was with Granny and Uncle Donnie at a family reunion, someone in the family tried to make conversation with her. He is known to be entirely unsafe to be around children for abuse issues. She not only didn't talk with him, but she wouldn't let him come anywhere near her and scream at him to leave her alone. Granny says "she knew". Of course we keep care of who she talks too, but she does bring great joy and peace to those she meets. Bishop Becker sure does love her. As he deals with his own challenges of unemployment and leading our ward, her smile and hugs every Sunday cheer him greatly. It's fun to watch the two of them give each other butterfly kisses and "talk".
We've only had a few ups and downs with health. After a month or so, Brianne wasn't able to suck well (low muscle tone) and wasn't getting enough to keep her full, growing and healthy. I did pump and we tried different kinds of formula...we found that she had allergies to milk and soy...this is when I really started pumping again so she could eat...and we found a formula that would work well for her body to digest with out harming her. (milk caused her to have blood and mucus in her stools and soy gave her a skin rash) At two months old, after one week in the hospital fearing she had pneumonia, we found out that she was aspirating milk into her lungs. We started to thicken with different things and found xanthym gum worked the best (and cost the least too). For about 6-8 months she had to keep oxygen on. We carried the tank and monitor O2 rates for quite a while, but all in all she was remarkably healthy, just as the Lord promised.
...and just like he promised she is a joyful delight in our lives. How blessed we are to have her in our eternal family.
As a child we rarely ate boxed cereal....actually eating cereal for breakfast didn't happen often in our home. For a Christmas treat my parents started a tradition of letting us pick any cereal we wanted....a box of cereal of our very own choosing and we didn't have to share it with anyone. I remember picking Frankenberry or Booberry or Count Chocouberry as my choice.
